This is what I do....
Melchett,
I call anything from AVM upwards 'air marshal' and introduce them as such. I call the only MRAF I deal with; 'Sir' and introduce him as 'Sir *****' since its most unlikely that he is unknown in the circles in which we mix.
All other officers I use their rank if addressing them formally and on first introduction to someone else. WOs and non commissioned personnel, I call 'Mr' and introduce them as such. In my experience the rank/status thing quickly becomes irrelevent
I run a loose association of ex-RAF guys and we are strictly 'rank neutral'. When I first invite them to join, I address them by their service rank but then tell them that this will be the last time it will be used unless the Queen comes to dinner.
The above applies in a vaguely service setting. In a predominantly civilian setting I use first names and introduce the ex-service guy as 'Jeremy Ponsby-Symthe' (this only works if he is Jeremy P-S you Understand!!!!). If the matter of service career comes up then I say something like; 'Jeremy served in the Army for many years, I'm sure he'll tell you about his many misadventures'. I never say; 'Jeremy won the MC attacking the &^*%, you know'.
Sorry if this all sounds laboured and unneccessary but it does seem to work and I believe that courtesy and civility cost nothing. I'm even civil to the only person I actually hated in my time in the mob - difficult though that still is!!
O-D