I work arrivals into ML & we can't hand you off too early as you'll be off the edge of the screen for TMA - they don't look out much beyond 40 miles. We try to hand-off in a timely manner but sometimes sods law intervenes & everyone is busy at just the wrong time. I aim to initiate the hand-off by 40 miles but if I'm late and TMA is slow to accept you're down to 30 miles fairly quickly. Obviously a problem onto 16 from the north.
Also because you have max and are approaching 30 miles I should have solved any separation & sequencing problems miles back so I've moved my focus on to other tasks. You're all done as far as I'm concerned except for the hand-off. I'll catch you in my scan of the screen but if I have several higher priority tasks to attend to you get to wait.
Any aircraft holding up the sequence is liable to being berated, encouraged to do better or hit with a wet fish. All
sotto voce of course, well mostly
I'm not a tower controller but I'd guess some of it is just a lack of knowledge of the "other guys job" (I presume most aircraft would be a handful then too?) & taking the opportunity to fill a silence.
In the end we're all trying to do our jobs as best we can, some times less successfully than others. We're trying to move little green circles around & occasionally our best laid plans come unstuck - sometimes because we judge it wrong & sometimes due to pilot actions. Of course either way you get to wear the consequences as far as being dicked around goes.