Tie it around your thigh!
As many attempts as necessary to get it right.
Slide it down your leg and over your foot.
At the back of the knot, stitch it permanently in position.
Cut the neckband.
Stitch Velcro of the two ends.
You now have a presentable, correctly tied bow tie, that is simple to put on and take off.
By the way, a smashing thread.