Beagle said:
Then there's 'Sixsigma'. Don't even try to understand that - if you cannot get off to sleep reading the AP&FS Newsletter or one of those non-absorbent Air Power propaganda magazines, try Googling Six Sigma....
Never have I read such utter horse**** which basically says that if you want something to work well, it must have been worked on by a high quality team.
How long before the meaningless management drivellers start adding six sigma crap to their wanqueword lexicons?
And Exrigger said:
Six Sigma would appear to have confused many who tried to integrate it into the Quality Management System, as it only works by bringing efficiency/savings into a production environment therefore increasing quality of product.
As it is complicated drivel they simplified it and gave it a nice easy to learn name and it became 'Lean' and most quality people stay well away from it all if they get half a chance.
And I was told this - which made me spit coffee on the screen:
A farmer was watching over his sheep one day, when a Range Rover drew up by the dry stone wall and a smart looking bloke in a suit got out, vaulted the gate and strode up to him.
“Beautiful view isn’t it?” He asked, looking out over the valley into the blue haze distance.
“It is that.” Said the farmer incuriously.
“Are those all your sheep?” He asked.
“’Tis some on ‘em.” Replied the farmer. The smart man thought for a moment.
“If I could tell you precisely how many sheep you’ve got, would you give me one of them?” It was the farmer’s turn to think and he thought hard. Not all the sheep could be seen from where they were standing, so he thought he was on pretty safe ground.
“Orlright. Youm tell me erzackly the roight number an’ you can ‘ave a sheep.”
The smart man returned to his Range Rover where he opened his laptop, plugged in the 3G card and booted it up, initialising a VPN connection. Logging on to his server, he established an up/down link with an earth resources satellite and, using a GPS position from his mobile phone, selected the area for review. In a few seconds he had outlined all the fields containing the sheep and launched an interactive image analysis programme from which, moments later, he exported the results to Excel and created both pie and bar charts. After correctly aligning his laptop IR window with the colour printer, he had a ten-page PowerPoint presentation in less than seven minutes. Whistling happily, he shut down his equipment and strode back to the farmer.
“Well now sir, if you look at sheet two, we can see you have a total of four hundred and eighteen sheep in three main subsets. Forty-five percent are in the top, northern field; thirty-two percent are in the western or middle field and twenty-two percent are in the southernmost, bottom field. The one percent residual are four sheep and a lamb that have wandered out of the middle field and are standing in the lane. The movement trend analysis - on page seven - shows that seventy-two percent of your sheep are moving slowly towards the north, while the remainder have hardly moved for almost thirty minutes.” He stood back, pleased with his presentation. The farmer was stunned, but impressed and, being an honest man, allowed him his sheep.
“Orlright – you win. Pick any sheep youm loike.” The smart man went off and was soon back at his Range Rover. A little later he returned to thank the farmer, who had been thinking.
“If I can tell you what youm do,” He asked shrewdly. “… would youm gimme my sheep back?” The smart man chuckled indulgently.
“Of course – that’s only fair.” The farmer smiled.
“Youm are a GE Corporate, Six-Sigma Black Belt and youm working on a Global Communications project.” It was the turn of the smart man to be stunned.
“Good grief! How on earth could you know that?” He asked. The farmer smiled again.
“’Cos for the last ten minutes, you been tryin’ to load my dog in the back of yor’ Range Rover!”
Roger.
