LOW FLIGHT, allegedly penned by RAF phantom pilots
Oh! I've slipped through the swirling clouds of dust,
a few feet from the dirt,
I've flown the Phantom low enough,
to make my bottom hurt.
I've TFO'd the deserts, hills,
valleys and mountains too,
Frolicked in the trees,
where only flying squirrels flew.
Chased the frightened cows along,
disturbed the ram and ewe
And done a hundred other things,
that you'd not care to do.
I've smacked the tiny sparrow,
bluebird, robin, all the rest,
I've ingested baby eaglets,
simply sucked them from their nest!
I've streaked through total darkness,
just the other guy and me,
And spent the night in terror of
things I could not see.
I've turned my eyes to heaven,
as I sweated through the flight,
Put out my shaking hand and touched
the master caution light.
And one that seems rather apt these days...(not really)
The Co-pilot
By Keith Murray (Capt Colonial Airlines).
Written in 1941 and first published in October 1942 in
"The Airline Pilot" the monthly magazine of US ALPA.
I am the co-pilot, I sit on the right,
It’s up to me to be quick and bright;
I never talk back for I have regrets,
But I have to remember what the Captain forgets.
I make out the flight plan and study the weather,
Pull up the gear, stand by to feather;
Make out the mail forms and do the reporting;
And fly the old crate while the Captain is courting.
I take the readings, adjust the power,
Put on the heaters when we’re in a shower;
Tell him where we are on the darkest of night,
And do all the bookwork without any light.
I call for my Captain and buy him cokes;
I always laugh at his corney jokes;
And once in a while when his landings are rusty,
I always come through with, "By gosh it’s gusty".
All in all I’m a general stooge,
As I sit on the right of the man I call "Scrooge";
I guess you think this is past understanding,
But maybe some day he will give me a landing.