Equipment Assistants Course
KIRHAM 2
What a big change. From being a team not only pulling together but with the same object in mind ,nearly all of us were only waiting for the day we could go home. No one was interested in becoming an L.A.C equipment assistant, so when classes finished exercise books were closed until the following day . However the information gained did help me later in ‘civvy street’ for I was later to set up a stores system for an Inernational Harvester agency of which I was a director. Although I.H.C was an American company their stores system was very similar to the R.A.F system. This is not surprising, as the R.A.F system was based on the Woolworths stores system, or so we were told. (Yawn)
The system only used in the U.K was virtually fiddle proof, and , I think, was known as ‘system A’ . Amongst other things, all stock sheets had to be registered in a central registry, kept under lock and key, numbered, and signed by a senior officer, replacements could only be made on the damaged or worn out item being handed in i.e for a replacement light bulb at least the brass bayonet fitting had to handed in. System B was for use over seas under war conditions , it was far simpler and was wide open to abuse . In fact I might eventually write about a certain W/O who must remain nameless and who had to do a lot of fiddling to save a certain officer I/C stores from court marshal. ( You never know that bloke from the Judge Advocates Generals Dept might still be around) . Instructors were not as dedicated as they might have been, I suppose they were also waiting for the day when they receive their ‘Trilby ‘ hat, over coat, and train warrant. Consequently we occasionally had to organise our own classes, which didn’t have much relevance to store keeping, good fun though. After all every one was either ‘Dollaly Tap’ or ‘Flak Happy’. We did learn some very useful things such as not to issue Hangars , air craft as Hangers , coat, as this could cause the officer I/c stores to panic.
For entertainment we were only a short distance from the pubs in the centre of Kirkham and the R.A.F Astra cinema was just up the road at Warton. Wizzo, we could see the Thirty Nine Steps again. However Saturday night was the night we looked forward to most..
The railway station was only a short distance from the camp entrance with frequent trains to the centre of Blackpool. Consequently nearly every one took the train on a Saturday night to Blackpool , visiting such pubs as Yates’s Wine Lodge , Uncle Toms cabin etc. Uncle Tom’s had a piano and excellent pianist who knew all the usual popular R.A.F songs which we sang with great gusto. One song being the most popular at that time was ‘When this blinking war is over’ which ended with ‘We will tell the Squadron Leader to stick his Spitfire up his jumper’
The last train back to camp was at ten thirty, so was absolutely packed, but no one cared, we just sang our heads off all the way back. However one Saturday night something silly happed (Well, as a refined old fogey that’s how I would describe these juvenile antics).
As we were all approaching the ticket collector we noticed a stack of fifty six pound test weights, about two and a half tons of them , and a quantity of red , paraffin lamps. Some wag suggested it would cause a laugh at the station if the S.P s were to find them in the morning outside the guard room. We each put our tickets between our teeth and picked up two items, and approached the ticket collector, who took the tickets, and didn’t even bat an eyelid.(such was life then).
On disembarking we staggered down towards the main gates. Unfortunately the local ‘Bobby’ happened to be approaching from the opposite direction and he looked a bit surprised to see a solid phalanx ? Of airman each carrying two fifty six pound test weights. He was a nice man , and politely requested that we return them to the Kirhahm station , fortunately he didn’t know they really came from Blackpool Station, so I suppose in our twisted minds we had the last laugh.
BAH THE YOUTH OF YESTERDAY.
P.S If you don’t know how heavy a fifty six pound weight is, then , two of them make a hundredweight.