Very funny thread.
Comment from legacy hit home. Here in my big-city USA life, the subway drivers regularly remark that large groups can enter and exit the trains through different doors, and will end up on the same train/platform. I love when they do the math..."6 cars, 3 doors per car, all going to the same place."
I'm so sorry that you end up dealing with the dumb Americans. While the news may say otherwise, they are the minority. Maybe you don't notice the rest of us because we don't cause a ruckus?