Teleparty...
I liked your posting, it made me laugh too... I can see the funny side. Actually it would be more efficient to have ONE airport for SOU and BOH - you could turn Boscombe down into that, no? But fate has dealt its hand and as such BOH does has a future catering to the demand that SOU cannot, and that is mid to longer range holiday flights with larger aircraft.
But in all seriousness BOH supports a lot more than just commercial flights. it survived from 1993 after Jersey European pulled out to 1996 when Ryanair stepped in with no scheduled flights at all! (apart from a small blip with euro direct which was a mess). BOH has a catchment that is second only to Bristol in the south west of England. It's larger than EXT, PLH, NQY catchments. One problem: surface access is very poor to BOH.