Fury as helicopter crew use helicopter for SAR mission

[Tallsar]

Unfortunately it has also emerged that pending the results of the Royal Commission into the possible effects of SAR Harmonisation on future cat and cow rescues there is no room at any institution for ancient RN SAR crewpersons or their kith and kin presently operating under the guise of "Interim" arrangements at places too remote to countenance. This RC was initiated at HM's gracious pleasure some 10 years ago, chaired by the most sideways walking individual available, and not expected to report until 2017 at a cost of £6Bn. It is also rumoured that the nations storage facilities for a certain brand of chocolate digestives will be so fundamentally effected due to underuse, that a certain Dr Fox is giving serious consideration to bringing forward a much vaunted UK SAR bedroom and TV enhancement programme once the next generation of RAF feet can be measured to ensure the right amount and size of slippers can be procured at the most cost effecive price and with minimal impact on what is now left of UK manufacturing industry - located, it is believed, somewhere near Yeovil.