Being ground staff for a couple of years.... :
We were boarding pax through the front and rear doors of a BAE146. As pax left the terminal we checked their boarding cards and advised them on which end of the aircraft to board for their convenience.. One particular passenger was advised to board through the rear door, to which he replied "Is that also going to Cape Town" ?? ...
Many years ago, at a small airport with many restrictions, we had to delay a flight for boarding due to a strong wind component. Since the restrictions (runway slope, etc) only allowed take off in a certain direction, the wind on this day was blowing in the "wrong" direction for take off and thus the flight was grounded until it either calmed down or changed. One particular loud American lady was making herself know throughout the event and eventually piped up with the most seriously demanding question - almost shouting:
"So WHEN is the wind gonna change direciton??" ..
Needless to say some pax burst out laughing at her and we just stood there and smiled with the obvious answer on our faces. She sat in the corner for the rest of the 30 minutes until we finally boarded.
Frequent flyers:
One particular frequent flyer with Gold status (2nd highest) was late for his flight and missed it... the aircraft had started up as he arrived at the counter huffing and puffing. The usual appologies from the ground staff and offers to rebook him only made it worse for him and as the aircraft gave power to taxi, he glanced at the ground staff and threw himself onto the baggage converyor belt going through the wall to the outside shouting:
"STOP that plane - I'm a GOLD CARD HOLDER" !!!! hahaha
He later tried to claim his injuries from the airline but was laughed off by the legal guys for his stupidity!
... I'll try think of some more....