I know Bert....if yer dear ol' Mum knew the truth.....you being a helicopter pilot....why it would break the ol' dear's heart and all!
You heard about the chopper pilot coming in from the bush in Alaska...craved a very cold, dry, martini.....hit the first bar he spied outside of Merrill Field. Bartender mixed him up the finest dryest martini in all of Alaska....just as he went to take a sip...the piano players monkey slid to a stop on the bar and dunked his testys into the martini....and scooted back to the piano player. This happened three times....the pilot only wanting an unsoiled martini approached the piano player to ask him to control the monkey....said to the piano player...."Hey, you know your monkey just dunked his testys into my martini?".......the piano player turned...cocked his head a bit....said "No...but if you hum a few bars maybe I can pick it up!"