Gordy,
The impression you give is that you seem to wear your "Hard Ardous" schedule like some kind of badge of honour. The real question is should you be working that hard operating a helicopter in a fairly hazardous environment.
You need to be sure that you are peddling the correct line here otherwise you might be part of the reason why Operators can "wring" every last drop of concious effort from their crews!!!!
Fatigue comes in many forms and stress is one of the biggest causes. They way you describe your schedule who would wnat to get involved!!
For RABIDCAT, Chin up mate. If you have learnt from the experience then it is not wasted. The Authority will know of the failure but there is nothing in the public domain to record this.
On your next trip try to relax and make sure you are well prepared. Preparation takes away the trepidation.
Good luck!!