PAXboy
It's a sign of the times that the person who'd happily accept a flight on a downmarket airline will have a newer and flashier mobile telephone than you.
To be honest, if I took cheap flights, I'd prefer to be stacked up like cordwood. as long as I had my own compartment. It's a sleeper train, really.
For landing, you are superglued into place and given a bottle of solvent in case of emergency.
Unfortunately this will not work as everyone will simply sniff the solvent and end up as incapable as Business Class on QF LHR-SYD
SO