It always helps if you can speak technician.
Understanding Technicians
Terminology used by technicians
Stuffed
A description of an item of equipment indicating that it does not work quite as well as when it was new. This situation is not expected to change in the near future.
F##ked
Terminally stuffed.
F##k me
A technical expression meaning that after you have totally stripped an assembly you didn't really need to, you have read the manual to discover a major warning in bold type saying never to touch that part under any circumstances whatsoever, as it requires factory (overseas) realignment.
F##k it all
An expression that follows the tinging sound of a miniature spring or circlip bouncing off something on the other side of the room. Unfortunately, you didn't see where it came from, where it went to, and have no idea what it looks like.
F##king bloody f##k
An expression used after 2 full days reassembling and mechanical aligning to find that an extremely fundamental part is still sitting under the workshop bench.
Holy bloody sh#t
The expression used immediately after stripping the thread or hexagon off a small bolt and remembering that it had a left hand thread.
Sh#t, f##k, sh#t
The technical expression denoting full understanding that the thing you have just dropped into the bowels of the machine is not only critically important to the machines operation, but is completely beyond retrieval.
Sh#t, sh#t, sh#t
Something weighing 400kg is sitting on my finger.
Sh#t, sh#t, sh#t, sh#t, sh#t...
Something hot weighing 400 kg is sitting on my finger.
How the f##k...
Often used to indicate that in your opinion the designers of the machine might have done something a bit differently.
Bloody f##k
Somebody will have to find a first aid kit.
Holy f##king sh#t
This is a 440 volt circuit, and I think I've forgotten to isolate it.
Bu66er bloody f##k
You see a severed 200 cable wiring harness and reach an immediate understanding of why the equipment rack required extra force to close it.
NOTE: If the word 'Holy' is used in conjunction with this expression, it means that all 200 wires in the harness are the same colour.
F##king damn sh#t
I have just picked up the wrong end of a soldering iron.
F##king bloody damn
A general phrase indicating minor irritation.
Holy bloody f##k
My tie is caught by something being driven by a 200 horsepower motor and I can't reach the power switch.
Bu66er, f##k, damn
An indication of full acceptance that the final, binding quote given to the customer omitted the $1800 parts content of the job.