I didn't know this thread was supposed to be so funny.
From scratch to hero (ready to fly the Jet plane) for about £12k, ahahahahaha.
Even £20k would be a huge laugh, imagine £12k.
And 3 months to do all... right, now everybody is superman to learn everything this fast. Ahhh and of course UK CAA would be always ready for your flight tests at your will. You say when and they respond certainly.
Best comment ever: "All in all if you really want to fly a jet it's about £12k and 3months"
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha