Helping out the local AFCO with running some stands in the middle of an "undisclosed" city as part of a recruitment event. Theres the front of a Tornado done up with a cockpit (A few LEDs and a TV screen showing some low-level flying), and a few UAS studes to garnish it with flying suits and aviator-ish talk - our instructions were "leanr how fast it goes, how high it flies, and how much it drops - that should be enough". Basically, show the kids around, talk to the parents and flirt with the totty. Brilliant crack and a good weekend.
RAF Regt are also there with a couple of stands, and of course, hate the fact that a bunch of students in grow-bags are getting the attention off the skirt which is out enjoying the mid-summer sun. Queue the hatred mill running at full capacity.
Day rolls on, WannabeCrewman and a couple of mates (One of whom I shall name "Dave") are chatting to a Flt Lt on the AFCO, when an old, and slightly batsh*t crazy woman, smelling strongly of cat p*ss and twigglets, walks over to us. "How old do you have to be to join up? I really fancy joining!"
Flt Lt detects the potential for very good banter, and directs one of our lads to take her over to the RAF Regt lads so she can have a crack at the SAT range and a look at some of their nice shiney new gats.
He walks her over then comes back crying with laughter.
10 minutes pass, and angry RAF Regt Cpl (with major short-bloke syndrome) steps out of the stand, as the old dear toddles off, looking like thunder. He points out my mate from across the square and tells him to come over. Dialogue continues as follows:
Regt Cpl: Are you taking the f**king piss!?!? Do you think that was f**king funny?!
Dave: Well, yeah, we all did to be honest Cpl.
Regt Cpl: Stand to attention when you talk to me! UAS c**ts!
Mate raises an eyebrow, slowly gets into the most slobbish attention you ever did see. We (UAS lot) all had tonnes of respect for serving bods, regardless of rank, but not when they were acting like complete kn*bs.
Regt Cpl: Are all you UAS lot complete c**ts? Or is it just you?
Dave: No Cpl, we just thought it'd be a good bit of banter, as did the rest of the AFCO guys - if your lot cant take a joke then thats fair enough.
At this point the Regt Cpl is hitting critical mass and about to give my mate a thorough interview without coffee - in the middle of the square of this busy, mid-saturday-afternoon city shopping centre. Until the AFCO Flt Lt strides up.
Flt Lt: Cpl, whats the issue?
Regt Cpl: That old woman that this tw*t bought over, that wasnt called for sir, these UAS lads are taking the p*ss.
Flt Lt: Actually Cpl, I told him to bring her over, thats what we're here for, to put on a good show for the public and all that.
Regt Cpls face drops. He looked like England had just lost a Semi-final on penalties
Regt Cpl: Oh, ur, right sir.
Flt Lt: And I dont think giving this lad a dressing down for all the public to see is terribly professional, do you?
Regt Cpl: No sir.
Flt Lt: Good. Now... F**K OFF.
Regt Cpl: Yes sir. (Promptly scuttles off)
Ends up that "Dave" isnt allowed to go anywhere on his own for the risk of him being jumped by several pissed off Regt lads, who spend the rest of the afternoon directing visual venom at us.
Quality weekend.