I sincerely hope after all this blows over that the Captain takes the trouble to visit JFK ATC and see for himself what goes on on the other side of the mike and similarly the controller takes the trouble to get onto the flight deck of an inbound to see the workload from the Captains perspective.
This whole scenario seems to have been caused by a lack of understanding of how the other side works and the constraints which each party has to work under, rightly or wrongly. It is an object lesson in how an understanding of the other persons job helps everyone to get the end result that we are all striving to achieve.
The sooner that it is a compulsory requirement for all flight crew to visit their local ATC facility and for all controllers to fly a sector in and out of their airport the better. It is a sad indictment of the Aviation Authorities concerned that this is not mandatory requirement. This incident clearly illustrates their shortcomings.