Pie man
Do you not think the 'curt' sounding is also because the stress levels in the average military approach room are somewhat higher? Having worked both sides of the fence it never ceases to amaze me looking back (and I still get it when I co-ordinate) the background noise in a military approach room is ridiculous. Why? Because you have an approach controller, a director, and possibly zone in the same room, for a relatively small amount of airspace, all trying to co-ordinate with each other to the detriment of external co-ordination and all round controlling efficiency.
Maybe it's time the functions were combined more sensibly - we manage it in the civil world after all and it produces a much calmer working environment.
In addition - the old chestnut of VHF/UHF controlling. Why don't Mil ATC units do what the rest of the world does and 'cross-couple'. By selecting 'con' on the panel on the two frequencies you wish to combine (App for example) you should get rebroadcast facilities. If you don't maybe it's time for the RAF to ask why - DERA sites have had that ever since mascot was introduced.
CM