atc took way too long and sometimes you have to remind atc who the boss is.
What a moronic attitude to take. By definition ATC are in charge. It's Air Traffic CONTROL, not Air Traffic Do-what-you-like-and-we'll-just-watch-you.
It's hard to judge without seeing and hearing the entire communication between the controller and AA crew, but as other posts have alluded to the AA crew's actions were less than professional. Stating that they're turning contrary to the controller's instructions is very dangerous. In my opinion they should have given the controller chance to vector them for 31R.