Exciting news from bmi
bmi plan to announce that they will, in future, abide, unreservedly, with the terms and conditions of the pilot's and cabin crew contracts.
This is a giant step for bmi; they have decided to join the rest of the world in the 21st century and instead of treating their most valuable assets with utter contempt plan to involve them in the decision making processes.
A spokesperson is likely to say that the voices of reason and common sense have finally been heard. the spokesperson will say:
" We have finally realised that what our pilots have been telling us for years is true.
We have to accept that the bleedin' obvious is, more often than not, the way forward.
In fact, our pilots have, in the recent past, warned us about the costs and drawbacks of all the measures we introduced at an enormous cost. We regret that we ignored them as they have been shown to have been 1000% correct.
In the future we plan to treat our pilots with the utmost respect;they are after all, senior managers in the company"
They will say " As an immediate measure we plan to move our advertising from behind the clock at Manchester Airport. We now realise that Bob Shaw was prescient when he told us that it would be ineffective. Bob, please come back we need chaps like you.
We plan to introduce a revolutionary automated crew scheduling system, which we know works and does not produce schedules which are inconsistent with CAP 371 and the AFS. This major new initiative will have us all jumping for joy. The ACROBAT system has been developed in consultation with one of our most highly regarded pilots, Captain Brian Bradley. Brian has spent several months perfecting this system and we are pleased to announce that inrecognition of his extra and above services Brian will be presented with a Pride in our Performance BMW 5 series of his choice.
Additionally, we have, in retrospect deciced that Barney's holiday should be paid for by the company; indeed he can have the spare A330 for a month, go wherever he likes and we will pick up the bill.
This is the face of the new, Investors in People bmi"
The spokesman will further add " We do ,however, draw the line at giving Captain Leslie his job back as we were ordered to that by a completely independent tribunal who noticed that we lived in the Dark Ages and that our behaviour was unreasonable. We just have to hold on to some of our ancient prejudices. Tradition and all that"