Just released on the portal, and possibly written by the man himself!
''Captain Edward Davidson's farewell party is planned for the 30th of April at Capt America's villa starting after work at 1pm. There is no need to put your office phones on answering machine, as we realize that is the norm anyhow.''
We expect the pilot turnout to be volumous and advantaging to the desiring individualists who seek to endeavour to procure a substantial advantaging in their relative positions at Emirates Airline.
Henceforth, whilst we don't mean to be disadvantaging towards our customers, if you are one of the 2% of pilots not working that day, you are requested to bring suitable gifts for this fine man. Otherwisingly, you might be awarded a short trip to your respective Chief Pilot, to explanage your actions.
Edwards tenure has been short but dynamic in naturesqueness. Agreeably, he had envisioned staying much longer but due to unsubstantiated whinging from the pilot body, we have agreed to his early dismissal. ('Dismissal' ..... meaning a hearty farewell to a decent, intelligent and otherwise normal human being)
We all wish Eddie the best of luck in his impending IRS audit. We are confident that since he surrounds himself with the likes of Capt America, he will continue to thrive in his little world of denial and delusion and that he will enjoy his few months of retirement.
In all Sincerestness,
The management team at Emirates Airline.