The Gorgeous Brunette of Cathay
HER: An older woman you have admired from afar for many years. An exotic blend of European and Asian, she is well spoken, classy, very attractive and fabulously wealthy. She also has a collection of well over a hundred fast ‘cars’.
YOU: A fresh faced wonderkid who has talent, a desire to succeed, an empty bank account and oh, of course, is devilishly handsome.
THE ROMANCE: Amongst a sea of faces, you somehow catch Her eye and She talks to you. She flirts with you finding out all about you but you play it cool. Could it be that She could want you for Herself? Yes. A date!! She wants a date with you! Sure you’ve had some college girls in your time but nothing like this amazing lady - how will you be able to impress Her?
First you meet at a cosy joint near your place then as things move on, you go to Hers (in fact, She sends a limo). Unbelievably, She tells you that She is interested in you. Although She is married (to some old Chinese businessman) She wants you to move in to Her place as a ‘Driver’ and promises to look after you for the rest of your days as long as you promise to stay for at least six years.
THE REALITY: You say goodbye to all your family and friends and promise to keep in touch even though you’ll be on the other side of the world. But you must go - it’s LOVE. She tells you that She doesn’t have room for you until you’ve done your driver training so She puts you with her other new ‘Drivers’ in a motel in Adelaide for now. One of the other new drivers gets ‘performance anxiety’ and She loses interest in him. In fact she sends him home after making him pay for the motel. She wouldn’t do that to you though - it’s LOVE.
Finally you move in to Her place. Unfortunately, She has so many other drivers already that She can only afford to put you in a tiny room under the stairs in the garage. The cars are run day and night and it seems that all their exhaust fumes are run right into your room. Despite not having any money for you, She always seems able to buy more and more shiny new cars to add to her collection. Also, the drivers who started before you have houses that She is paying for! Even though you knew that before you came, it doesn’t seem very fair as you while away the hours in your tiny space. Even though you would like to ask for your own house to show how much She loves you, you are afraid in case She gets mad like she did to some other drivers. She wouldn’t do that to you though - it’s LOVE.
When you get to drive one of Her fast cars you find the older drivers get to do the steering and honk the horn. So even going driving is no fun! Worst of all, She always seems to want Her cars driven in the middle of the night as far away as possible so that you are always tired when She wants you to perform. The things you do for LOVE.
You wish you could get out more or go on lots of holidays to see your family but money seems so tight...
The years go by and it seem She won’t leave her old husband for you. Far from it, the dirty old Chinaman is taking an interest in the drivers himself but thinks they are paid too much (much more than his local workers anyway). Luckily, She is quite happy to keep you on as a driver, but only slowly drip feeding you more money and promising that ‘things will get better’. After all, it’s LOVE.
Realising that you aren’t happy, She does allow you to have your own girlfriend for company while she is with the other drivers. Soon you find a nice girl (lets call her Kitty Wong Yip Lau) and you secretly marry. Kitty asks why you are still living in a small room in the garage. Why can’t you have a bigger place...
Eventually, after years of breathing the smoky air you realise that She has been ignoring you and spending all Her time with the new drivers who are paid even less than you (all the while hinting that you could do with less as well).
Kitty leaves you as it turns out one of the older drivers (who has a house) has been ‘visiting’ her while you have been out driving at night. She mistakenly thought that when you married her, you were one of the drivers on the good deal and could provide for her properly.
You start to wonder if you couldn’t find another rich lady closer to home. Some of your friends have been with a good looking blond with new money even though She claims to still be a Virgin. Whoops, you still haven’t finished your six years as a driver yet. Damn. You wish that you hadn’t been thinking with your driving head all those years before.
Moral: All that glitters is not gold.