Stakeknife,
What an interesting and well thought post (and actually, I'm not being sarcastic!).
You are very right, I suspect, that most people read "didn't do something *I* wanted done" as a personal sleight and then run away. However, I think it's probably a fair assessment that most that occupy the pointy end of commercial aircraft have a reasonable intellect. Therefore, most should be able to comprehend the concept that sometimes things for the greater good, cause - however unpalatable it might be - personal circumstances to deteriorate.
The problem, however comes if the picture of the greater good is not represented accurately or completely. The second problem comes if one only ever perceives that ones own circumstances are deteriorating and is not gaining any of the "benefit" to others.
Personally, as I have mentioned previously, I think Balpa is dangerously out of touch and has allowed itself to become a franchise model, whereby each company CC represent THAT company. There is no model to represent pilots as a whole. This in turn has allowed the huge variation of Ts&Cs - which in turn ALWAYS provides evidence to the companies offering the best conditions that they can provide worse conditions...which of course leads to the race to the bottom.
Personally I am a qualified, but inexperienced and - if reluctant truth be told - unlikely to ever work as a professional pilot now, due to a masterpiece of timing of my training (graduated Dec 08). So I do feel qualified to say that as a former student member (or whatever they called us) of BALPA, there is simply no value in the organisation [specifically talking of the needs of the newly qualified]. I have not seen BALPA do anything at all to help us at the lowest end of the food chain. We HAVE no CC in which to get involved to improve things and things in BALPA towers seem utterly unconcerned by us, as our fees are notional only. Therefore, we are reliant on "big" Balpa, to do stuff - as perceived appropriate by those who ARE working pilots for the long term benefit of the profession - on our behalf.
This is half the problem...it's not just the oft trotted "Balpa is the BA pilots union" it's that each CC can barely influence their own company, so stomach for a fight on behalf of faceless students, other companies and unemployed but experienced pilots is tending to zero...