'Firewalling' the engines in a VC10 at AAR levels would probably lead to 4 x engine surges and a significant loss of thrust and possible engine damage - it is never even considered as an 'escape' method. More modern aircraft with better engine fuel control systems will, as D-IFF states, give you max continuous thrust factored for the environment (temp / alt / TAS etc) in response to the associated thrust demand method (TOGA buttons or thrust lever movement).
Rapid closure to the astern position seems more likely with, for example, the Option 2 RV Delta method. Purely due to the fact that receiver / tanker speeds are less standardised than for Option 1. Flying at receiver AAR speed with the receiver joining to (real) observation at no more than AAR speed +20KIAS is a lot simpler - even if it means the receivers slowing down slightly earlier - and is less likely to result in an 'overrun'.
About the only seriously dangerous join I can recall resulted in a fatal accident where only the captain of the Victor crew survived. The receiver pilot broke all SOPs, came hammering in way too fast, then tried to pull up and despite full airbrake, clouted the Victor's tail - which detached. The receiver crew survived.
Large receiver bow waves affecting the tanker autopilot is not that common in the RAF; I've experienced it during early TriStar receiver trials and with the Nimrod AEW3 - neither of which are current receiver types. It is likely to be more significant with something like a C-5 against a boom tanker, I would imagine.
Of course the only real way to prevent accidents is to beat 'erratic and excessive' closure rates out of receiver pilots with a large cudgel. Send them home if necessary - I don't know whether Arters ever sent anyone home, I've only done so once when a FAF Mirage appeared not to understand basic RT calls. But if there's any doubt, there must be no doubt.
And make the RV and join process as simple and straightforward as possible by providing a stable, predictable tanker platform flying at receiver AAR speed - the receivers flying at AAR speed +20 with a 1 mile rollout works just fine.