Old, old tale (forgive me if this is elsewhere in this thread):
A nasty FAA Inspector boarded the aircraft with the crew. As they were preflighting the fed asked the captain, "What controls airspeed and what controls attitude/altitude?
The captain answers, "Power controls airspeed and pitch controls attitude/altitude."
Fed, "That is SO WRONG! You have it backwards!!"
Nothing more is said. They taxi out, then are cleared in position.
The captain calmly tells the F/O, "I'll pump the Hell out of the control column and when we reach 130 knots you cob the power to it."