Airgirl,
Not sure if this will help but my attitude to this was that as I went along the path towards getting my licence, the instructor & examiners were checking for my ability not only to fly alone but carry a passenger in safety. As such I tried to get into the mindset that the instructor wasn't my instructor at all but actually my passenger & I was taking him for a ride. That got me into the habit of taking control anyway & waffling on in the cockpit about what I was doing (which did get me a comment of "Yes, yes...very thorough...now shut up") even if one or two of my landings and my airmanship weren't top notch.
Picking up on what BroomstickPilot says, when it came to taking up another instructor he just sat there listening & only passed comments when we were back on the ground.
I know I've siad this before in this forum, but as I was told by my instructor: you're doing this for fun so go have fun.
Either way, good luck with it