I can understand your feelings Airgirl. Like others I can remember my first solo and the doubts I had about it when the instructor let me go alone. It was the landing aspect that I wasn't too happy about.
That first solo wasn't without its problems. I made numerous mistakes, including an aborted landing due to me bottling out because I wasn't prepared for the float, due to the lack of a lump to the side of me. I also had to take some quick action when I opened the throttle, as the nose pitched up at a fast rate.
On landing and meeting the instructor. I did say that I really screwed that flight up. His comment was to say that the aircraft was insured, and I shouldn't worry about it.
He said that the best thing I could do, was to sit with a cup of tea, and go home, and the next time we meet to ask him what I thought could be done to improve matters. He said that I coped well under the conditions I had (which included a runway change after I had took off)..
The next time I met him. I had a fairly long list of things that I wanted to go over and practice. That included aborting landings without touching down. We did a lot of that, and after a while I could virtually do it with my eyes closed from any height. That made a lot of difference to my future decision making on a landing. All for the good I have to say.
I must say that with hindsight he was right to let me go when he did. After that solo. I really started to learn how to fly, as it put a different perspective on it for me, and enabled us to communicate with each other a lot better. Was he right in letting me go solo when he did? .. I can say that he was right. I am still alive
I agree with what many others have said, especially the one about taking the instructor with you, and having him as a passenger. Maybe it might help to practice aborting landings. Others may have better ideas of course.
Astral