Pilot, you look very young. Are you properly licensed to fly paying passengers?
Oh, I'm allowed to fly people who pay and people who don't pay, both kinds. But I don't like flying people who are ageists, sizeists, pissed or unpleasant.
And did you know that the youngest pilot to shoot down a German fighter plane in the Second World War was seventeen years OLD?
(Ah, but what a marvelous thing is hindsight! And a little licence, too.)
Onetime this PF pulled off a greaser unusual for him and the older sardonic PNF said 'Are we down yet?'
Great story in Harry Purvis's 'Outback Airman' about the time his very unco co-pilot was sent back to apologise to the army brass on board for his horrific landing. Some time later one of those men down the back bumped into Harry and asked him were his landings any better? What? says Harry. Well that time at Mascot when you sent your offsider back to tell us the wingco says sorry about the landing. He's been flying a desk lately and hasn't got his eye back in.