I quite agree with you Hartington - the issue, in this case, appears to be with the actions and (lack of) courtesy of an individual crew member. I absolutely support your answer to that crew member. I feel that we are entitled to 'ask' (courteously) and you are entitled to refuse (courteously) - It seems a reasonable way to proceed.
I have been hammering away today, at the more general, generic principle, and am anxious to hear answers in that area, without a sidetrack into the specifics.