Slash, if you're reading this, here's "How to beat the nurses objecting to the use of Internet/Puter" (tried, tested and proven, although I haven't tried looking at porn in hospital):
1) Ignore their objection
2) Do it in the middle of the night when they're not about
3) Let them play with it too
4) Get a private room (less contact with the nurses)
I really hope you can get out of hospital soon and get all your naughty links back.