In your long answer to SFLY #3038, you said:
I believe that a pilot handling with his hands on the control column is in control, a/p in or not, as long as the a/c is doing what the pilot wants it to be doing. If it doesn’t, do something about it, using a/p or not! John was in control of the a/c and when it wasn’t doing what he felt comfortable with he did something about it. I have no problems with John’s actions that day. I had half a glance at the picture every now and again and was happy with it (you know what I mean) but would have said something to him if I hadn’t been.
Would you agree then, that as a crew, you deliberately chose, having noticed the reduction in airspeed, to keep the A/C on the glide slope inducing the inevitable drop on the wrong side of the drag curve, and a big big increase in drag.
You were perfectly aware that your A/C needed less drag, hence the flaps reduction, but your copilot let the speed decay to stick shaker speed, this is neither coherent nor safe for a pilot flying a then glider.
But in the end he was right as everybody walked out from that landing.