Flying
Landing on the ship during the daytime is like sex. It's
either good or it's great.
Landing on the ship at night is like a trip to the dentist. You
may get away with no pain, but you just don't feel comfortable.
LCDR Thomas Quinn, USN.
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm,
and a good crap. A night carrier landing is one of the few
opportunities to experience all three at the same time.
A checkride ought to be like a skirt; short enough to be
interesting but still long enough to cover everything.
Speed is life, altitude is life insurance. No one has ever
collided with the sky.
A "GOOD" landing is one from which you can walk away. But a
"GREAT" landing is one after which you can use the airplane again.
(Especially true at sea).
It only takes two things to fly, airspeed and money.
The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If ATC screws up,
the pilot dies.
The difference between a duck and a co-pilot? The duck can fly.
It's better to break ground and head into the wind than to
break wind and head into the ground.
The difference between flight attendants and jet engines is
that the engine usually quits whining when it gets to the gate.
If it's ugly, it's British; if it's weird, it's French. If it's
ugly and weird, it's Russian.
New FAA motto: We're not happy, till you're not happy.
A copilot is a knothead until he spots opposite direction
traffic at 12 o'clock, after which he's a goof-off for not
seeing it sooner.
Without ammunition the USAF would be just another expensive
flying club.
If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.
I'd give that landing a 9 . . . on the Richter scale, son.
Basic Flying Rules:
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance
of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It
is much more difficult to fly there.
Unknown landing signal officer to carrier pilot after his 6th
unsuccessful landing (bolter): You've got to land here, son.
This is where the food is.