Are you absolutely absolutely absolutely determined to use the AOL interface? Just about any other browser / email client will work better - the only argument for using t'AOL one is to get into their private chat rooms - or it used to be; haven't been there for years meself.
Even Internet Explorer in its various flavours (much despised by many on here, but, hey, it's on your computer already) does a better job. And then you can google for a faq sheet on accessing yr AOL mail account on Outlook Express. Once you've got up and running, you can then come back here and seek advice on the very best of the very best... and stand back to be confused by conflicting advice! But seriously, there's quite a few good 'uns out there which will do the job.
Jim