Another vote for X-Plane. I sometimes use it to 'fly' into unfamiliar airfields before taking the real plane there.
As for training - I believe a sim used wisely can definitely help. Learning the instrument scan, running checklists, etc. can be practiced in the sim (in X-Plane pretty much all switches in the cockpit are 'live', so can really practice the whole sequence from engine start to shut down). You won't learn to fly an airplane, but as many things in aviation are procedures, you can practice them here for free and in your own time. I don't think the 'not looking out' argument holds much water. You will have to practice that in the real a/c during real flight training anyway.