...a bit of pork fat ignited leaking pipe...
A leaking
pipe? Presumably that means you were using the fuel of Satan's bottom? Well, we did try to warn you that
gas-
faggotry is to be avoided!
Yes, the blackfellow is indeed hibernating at the back of the garage keeping the grass mower company until this damn snow goes and the evenings get lighter again. It must be
so hard for your chaps in the colonies with overnight temperatures of 38 deg C........