1) What is the connection between:
A) Southampton FCs Official Historian
B) £75,000 per annum
2) Jane lives near a very busy airport and spends £1Million per day flying
all over the world in expensive, but ageing jet planes. She has £2Billion
in her piggy bank but owes John £3.7Billion, which he wants on his 65th
birthday.
How long (to the nearest month) until Jane can no longer afford her
glamorous jet-set lifestyle?
3) Refering to Question 2: Jane has asked her friends to help her find
some ways of saving money. But her friends have refused to help and
have stopped talking to her. Should Jane:
A) get new friends
B) tell her friends not to worry, she only made it all up for a laugh
4) Liza N McAlone is afflicted with SIS: Self Importance Syndrome. She
tells lies to people, some of whom used to work with her. Her boss
found out and warned her that she should not have told those lies. But
she didn't want to hear what her boss was saying. Her boss asked
a Judge to decide if Liza was right or wrong. The Judge said that
Liza was wrong. Liza threw a big party (which even made the
newspaper front pages) and said that she had achieved a huge victory.
What IS wrong with Liza?
5) If X people take Y minutes to complete task Z, how much longer will it
take X-1 people to complete the same task?
6) If the answer was "NO", who was asking the question to who?
7) A secret poll has revealed that a growing number of people are
worried by onions, and their effect on air travellers. What can be done
to minimise the effect of onions, and is there an organic alternative to
them?
8) An Irishman and a Spaniard walked into a bar. The Spaniard said
"ouch". What did the Irishman say?
With all best wishes for a BASSAless New Year
TorC