Shadowpurser,
Excellent post, and a very well explained argument from your perspective.
First, let me deal briefly with the skippers response. Not good, and no excuses other than those mentioned above. Do remember that BA is by no means alone in having individuals like that, however: all airlines recruit from a bell-curve of the available population, and individuals wil always inhabit either end of that curve. To put this in proportion, the worst ever example I have seen of human interaction was in AN Other company, when the skipper went into a rage, and demanded the presence of the girl who had just served him his meal. His complaint was....."Feel this! Go on feel it! See what I mean? This cutlery is ABSOLUTELY FREEZING COLD! Replace it at once...."
I don't think any further comment is necessary, and I'm sure every airline in the World, every office building, every shope and every establishment where people interact has at least one person who would fit that mould. Where you employ many people, the law of averages kicks in... but remember, the largest part of the bell curve is the centre, and they don't make the headlines, or the gossip.
As to the crux of your point, I've always since geting my command had a chat with the purser/CSD beforehand and worked out some scenario for the checks. We do know when it is busy it is hard to make the time, and as Jetdriver says above, it is an "average" of 20 minutes.
I do feel that it is important that you make the time, however, and ensure that the atmosphere is such that both sides of the door are aware of the needs of the other. It isn't a tea-and-coffee check, after all, it is an "Are you all OK?" check, just that the T-and-C tends to be appended. A "Bit busy just now guys, just making sure you're alive, if you need anything can I get back to you when it calms down, but place yer orders now" is absolutely perfect, in my book, and the best one I've heard yet, (on a busy AMS, I think it was.)
If you ever fly with me on the Scarebus say hello, and I'll give you a badge!
£6