Although I spent many years as cabin crew and come from an aviation family I can completely understand peoples phobia. I've been through lots of turbulence, many technical issues and almost had a full evacuation at one point. However knowing a little about aerodynamics, how a plane functions in normal and non normal situations is what gave me the confidence that I was not going to end up as a charcter in air crash investigations!
The reason I understand phobia is that I experienced it first hand and it completely took me unaware. Put me in a 747 with an engine failiure and I would be right as rain - I'd know exactly what the pilots would be doing and that the aircraft was not going to fall from the sky.
However when my brother was doing his training to become a commercial pilot he offered to take me for a spin in a cessna - ( a very small single engined light aircraft). Whether it was the fact it was my 'baby' brother at the controls or that you could feel every bump, twang and thump I don't know but I can remember looking over the cowling wishing I was firmly back on terra firma. As we levelled out he casualy remarked that the engine was running a little roughly, knitted his brows he started talking through what might be the problem. I knew logically that even if we lost the engine, he'd get the nose down, keep the air speed up, wouldn't stall the thing and that there were loads of large, even fields below us...however I was more than a little anxious. As things transpired everything was fine, we landed back at the little airfiled and I jumped out making a mental note never to fly on anything with less than 150 seats ever again!
I think what saved me from completely hyperventilating in that little cessna was knowing something about what makes a plane stay in the air and a little about the instrumentation. With heavy jets things are hugely more complex, but knowing for example that there is a TCAS system that prevents mid air collisions- that even if its a really bad day in the office and a 747 looses all its engines the plane will still fly and is controlable.
My advice is to step away from air crash investigation and just do a little research! Cabin crew are always good to talk to if you are nervous. I've sat and chatted to many, many nervous flyers and on some occasions when we've been going through turbulence have strapped myself in next to them for a bit of moral support!
