1. Get an instructor that doesn't mind being hastled (or he/she will soon teach you what is flyable weather
. I had an hour drive so would always book lessons from 10:00 onwards. I would often still go in if I couldn't fly chatting with the instructors or just sitting in the cockpit for half an hour is all good value and costs nothing.
From my training the following was my rule of thumb.
@1500 cloud base OK for ccts - I remember doing ccts with a 1200ft ceiling and some interesting cross winds during training - it really is worth getting up in these conditions with an instructor if you can (makes doing it alone a bit easier)
If raining or showers then probably not worth going up unless they are isolated or clearing.
I flew from Old Buck and it could be overcast there but clear out towards the coast or Cambridge. You also need to look at what the weather will do (not just the present conditions)
If you are close to x-country you can do a low level x-country if your instructor wants to get away from the cct at lower than 1000.
2. Get the confuser and don't worry too much about the HP&L exam, it was the easiest of the bunch - if you have done air law you will breeze it. I believe you can't take anything into that exam (from memory the only one you can take stuff into is the Nav).
3. I didn't know all the table - and passed the exam if that helps
4. You will get a lot of debate on the instructor- I had a lot of different instructors and although there were issues (covering same ground, missing some bits and instructors doing things in different ways) I actually benefitted from them all. I had old the and bold ex harrior pilot (most will know who that is (Thanks G), I had a young instructor who taught me by the book, an instructor who let me stretch the boundaries - probably a little too far and a lady instructor who ended up doing most of my instruction.
To be honest the old and bold was the most beneficial to me, their experience can't be underestimated and the little gems of flying knowledge are worth their weight in gold. But you are the only one that can answer the question. Try a few instructors if you are not sure. Don't forget you are the paying customer - be a bit demanding.
On FSX - I use it regularly - but buy TrackIR and photorealistic scenery. This gets your head out of the cockpit. You can practice cross country legs with the photo scenery and it does start becoming a good training tool - I will also move the plane to a random area and try to work out where I am using VORs, or navigate using VORs/NDBs great to be able to pause and consider why the needle is doing what it is doing.
The lack of "feel" means that it is a little sterile so it wont help with things like landing or ccts (although you can still practice them). But you can also use it to practice things like HASELL checks or engine failure checks.
Hope that helps