Well,its a fascinating read but ultimately futile.We cant be judge and jury here,we only know one side of the story.There's merit in both opposing viewpoints;from Rainboe and 411 right through to the other end of the spectrum(basedonfacts).The only viewpoint I'd discard up-front would be the politically-correct one.We must deal in reality not CRM niceties.
The captain is in command.There's no cabin-Captain.The purser is in charge of the service.Does this mean that the purser must obey an unreasonable command?No.Does it mean the Captain is always right?No.If he's wrong and makes an unwarranted diversion,he WILL pay for it.Thats the balance.You put all the authority in one person because you dont want chaos,and you balance that risk by making that person legally responsible for his/her actions.Noblesse oblige.A skipper who abuses his authority is as bad as a purser who doesnt recognize/respect authority.The trick is to follow this tried and tested system and enjoy the day out at the same time.Many achieve this,some keep trying,only a very few fail.