Clandestino
Point 1 - Understood, still I like to think my head is screwed on correctly though I guess they (my employers) and everyone else will have to take my (and all the other voices in my head) word for it.
Point 2 - Ouch a little bit on the simmer/spotter remark but then as I said earlier I am still rather green. I am still impressed by everything, even when a bacon and egg roll turns up on my crew tray. Seriously though I think I see what you mean, and yes I quite agree - the actual flying is the best bit, not witnessing the ability of a bus to do it for me - but still....
Sorry to the original OP for hijacking your thread by the way, and more so sorry you aren't enjoying where you are. I have personally been more lucky than I deserve in terms of my current employer, and the operation I work in (and the fact I am young free and remain unaware of any children I may have). I hope that maybe you are just experiencing the come down after the high of achieving your goal. Ultimately only you can say. Personally I've done desks and have worked in this industry in one way or another for some time and wouldn't go back for love nor money (well maybe a tonne or so of cash and a lot of...) but everyone is different.
In the long run I am not sure that just my "job" will sustain a real lust for flying so I hope to have some fun flying on the side (when I am solvent again and maybe have a part time contract, and a float rating - we're talking way into the distant future that I dreamt about when I was 9). For some people the fun flying on the side turns out to be all they really want.
Give it time, take some advice from here to if you like, but ultimately listen to yourself. All the best (and ignore me as I am far too young to offer advice really!!)