To some readers this will be a trivial post, while to others who have experienced a few of the annoying events below , it is a chance to clear the air and in doing so, create a safer flight deck atmosphere. In short, do these things get right up your nose, but either because of your good manners or well worn patience you grit your teeth and grin and bear it:
The Hoverer who just as the aircraft rotates he ever so subtly reaches across your line of sight to casually rest his hand on the landing gear lever so that in a fraction of an instant he can slam the handle up as you form the first syllable of "gear up"
The same character rest his finger on the heading selector for several seconds in eager anticipation of ATC saying "On reaching 1500 turn right.
Same character casually takes out the before start checklist a minute or so before you call for it and holds in it up for you to admire ready for your request of Before Start checklist. Also known to have his hand behind the thrust levers as you are about to open up to 40 percent N1 and as soon as you press the TOGA button he shoves open the thrust levers under your hand and keeps it there until VR - meanwhile completely oblivious to the fact a perfectly serviceable internal friction or similar device ensures the levers will not slide backwards. And that if you suddenly close the thrust levers (for whatever reason) you do not have the time to ask him to kindly remove his mitt lest it be chopped half off with bleeding over the quadrant as his hand is caught between the aft edge of the thrust levers and the start levers in the idle detent..
Has a distracting habit of sniffing every 30 seconds or so - audible only when the engines are not running. But sniffing, all the same because you can see his nostrils distend as he sniffs if you happen to be looking that way..
Those nervous nellies who ever - so - slowly creep one or both hands on or a thousandth of an inch from the control wheel as you approach V1 or as you are about to flare for landing. Or the captain that sneaks his hands behind the thrust levers on short final to "adjust" the power even though you are PF with hands on the thrust levers. Don't you just feel like slamming the throttles shut to catch him off guard?
Turns around to start a conversation with a drop dead gorgeous flight attendant (male or female depending on personal preference ) as you are talking to the passengers on the PA. This destroys your concentration and you lose track of what you are saying.
You hand over control during an appropriate moment in flight, suggesting he practice his hand flying and he says no thanks hand flying is not for me..
Has the after landing drills completed in a blur of multi-fingered switch flicking skill while you are still at 60 knots and speed brake not yet selected down.
Ditto above for after take off scan completed while flaps still retracting and check list quivering like a Grenadier's salute as it is removed from its holder and pulled out at the present arms position.
Those that are seemingly unaware that their leg is furiously oscillating up and down in nervous apprension. Others who rest their size 10's on their own rudder pedals as you begin the take off run and out of the corner of your eye you can see his knees moving in concert with your own rudder pedal movements inputs.. and you feel like roaring ""Oose flyin' this bloody aircraft?"
Faint wiffs of BO or boozy breath, oniony or garlic breath..
Those nervous nellies who change the weather radar settings without checking with you first and worse still don't put them back as they were.
And so on. Minor irritations but when you are crewed with one of these characters for the next four days or next 12 hours then minor irritations can blow up into an almighty annoyance.