Our fair Whirls assures me she has be thrown out of better places than these...
Imagine an accountant getting thrown out of Chilkoot Charlies, the Midnight Express, and PJ's in Anchorage, all in one night for being "rowdy".
The Life of a Helicopter Pilot:
Grand canyon tour,
Get up at 4.30AM, drive 90 miles to the ditch, have 5th cup of coffee, preflight, pee, get in start up, load up the midwestern beefeaters, fly for 30 minutes, fly for 30 minutes, fly for 30 minutes, fly for an hour, fly for 30 minutes, fly for an hour. Can I have a break? No, ok, fly for 30 minutes, fly for 30 minutes, fly for 30 minutes, fly for 30 minutes. fly for 30 minutes, fly for 30 minutes, fly for an hour, get out tie down, PEE, drive 90 miles home,eat, sleep, repeat.
Hawaii tour
See above but get to wear funky hawaii shirt and shorts...
Offshore Oil:
See above but the tourists smell bad and the river is a lot bigger...
Tuna Boat:
See above, but you get to chant: Where da fish, where da fish...
Powerline patrol:
See above but you get to say: tower one, tower two, tower 3, tower 4, tower 5......tower 496, tower 497, etc...
Pipeline patrol:
See above but you get to say: yup it's a pipeline. yup it's a pipeline, yup it's a pipeline, yup it's a pipeline. yup it's a pipeline,.....Sh# theres a wire, ok, yup it's a pipeline, yup it's a pipeline, yup it's a pipeline....
EMS:
Get to work, have 7th cup of coffee, preflight, pee,news, eat, sleep,eat, sleep, eat, sleep, eat, sleep, BEEP BEEP BEEP, motorcycle vs a big rig, fly 20 minutes, load patient, Yuuuuuuko!!! That looks like it hurts, fly 20 minutes, off-load, debrief, eat, sleep, eat sleep, eat, sleep, go home...
Logging:
Get up at 5, have 3rd cup of coffee, preflight, comin up, log, log, log, log, log, log, log, log, log, log, log,log, Wipe up CP's puke, log, log, log, log, log, log, log, log, log, log, etc.. .Shut down go home drink a massive amounts of beer with hookers.
Fire:
Get up at 4 AM, drive an hour, have 9th cup of coffee, mission plan, you want to WHAT? Put on bucket go to fire. OH! big fire! Up down, turn around, fetch a pail of water, repeat 160 times. Shut down, wait untill 14 hours is over. Out of duty time, find tent, eat at base camp, visit little blue room, sleep up again, at 5am repeat...
CFI:
Get in at 9am, have 10 cups of coffee, 3 cigs,and wait for no shows, Non english speaking student shows up, preflight, flight, SCREAM: I HAVE THE CONTROLS!!, repeat 20 times, After hour flight, clean short, repeat 5 times, go home knowing your the pilot god that saved the R22 from the clutches of the student pilot, get on PC and type resume, yup getting 252.4 hours. look for way to get turbine time job with out flight time, go to sleep thinking how great it would be working as a real pilot!