BEagle – regarding your spots,I think you’re getting it all confused with arc welding. There, there.
Both MIG and TIG use argon for shielding. And last I checked argon was a gas – indeed it is called a noble gas.
But the point that you are missing, by applying a gas axe to your blackfellows wobbly bits, is that you would be doing humanity a favour in their removal.
At that age its far too old to consider firming anything up and even Viagra wouldn't help its cause. Do the decent thing old chap and don't let it suffer any further.
As for its owner........
Now Howabout – I applaud your efforts to emerge out of your primordial ooze in your attempts to read. Well done indeed that chap.
Vulcan 607 is wonderful reading. It even has pictures I recall. But it’s all rather advanced stuff. “Fun with Dick and Jane” or “Janet and John go off to play” might be more appropriate for you at this stage? Just remember it’s easier to turn the pages if you take your gloves off first.
aviation link: TIG is used in aircraft construction.