Flybe Dash emergency at LGW? (copy including spotter chat)

[5milesbaby]

ATC "I'm sorry Sir, due to the fact my uncle's sister-in-law's boyfriends mum is due into Gatters in about half an hour and they have drinkies booked with their neighbours later we are going to ask you to fly for an extra 30 minutes with that acrid smell and go block some other piece of tarmac. Actually, most of Northern France are about to move out and shut down so would you mind possibly bogging off there instead so I don't even have to fill in any paperwork and we can save our foam for the firefighters to fill up the local nightclub later for the end of term foamparty? They would also appreciate not having their afternoon kick-a-round interrupted and the nursery school 3 miles from touchdown still have the kids in the playground following lunch................"