I'm sorry 411A, I do have immense respect for everything you post here, but:
"'Captain' will do for the cabin crew. If my cabin crew don't like this, they will be warned, pronto. Ignore, offloaded."
Come on! These are the people we work with everyday, surely they could call you by your actual name (if they knew it).
Granted, I'm only an f/o, but I would tell anyone calling me First Officer to
off anf just call me by my real name, we all know the ranks. If someone need to reminded of it it will happen, but there is no need to enforce this divide on everyone everyday at all times.