Ruling Lets Pilots Act All Crazy
Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) ? In a long-awaited decision, the Transportation Security Administration today denied a request that would have allowed airline pilots to carry firearms in the cockpit, but said it would allow them to "do that wacko crazy-person thing where you make lots of erratic movements and scream at yourself and swear and bark and ****" in order to fend off possible hijackers.
While refusing the pilots' petition, the TSA approved a controversial request by the flight attendants' union that would allow cabin stewards, in the event of an emergency, to "run like hell" straight into a bulkhead and knock themselves out.
http://www.satirewire.com/briefs/pilots.shtml