MatsPart3
It was interesting to read your post and clearly the ATCO had good intentions and empathy for the student - good personal values I would say.
However, as a lesson leaned, this episode shows why standard r/t phraseology exists and the potential for misunderstanding when non standard terms are used.
On that basis, I believe that your ATCO made an error of judgment in trying to encourage a stude, although he absolutely did the right thing in contacting the flying club to get some background info.
Fortunately, the only outcome of this episode is better understanding for all and since all of us have made/will make errors of judgment, we should reflect on that and avoid being judgmental.