I was once nicked upon landing at Lyneham after a Hercy flight back from Dubai. The Smirnoff citron had got the better of me mid-flight. Chops M embarked made a gash allegation that lead to my subsequent arrest on the pan.
In Lyneham guardhouse - kitbag emptied & itemised..."You've got a fair few fags over the limit here I think mate!" was the comment from a lady sgt RAFP (I think). My reply was ..."Yeah but I reckon I'll be ok by morning though!"
Night was spent smoking fags in green ovies in the guardhouse until FOST legal gave the all clear for me to go on leave morning after.
Got 7 days pay fine on return to ship but got a free breakfast at Lyneham though, and a buckshee rail warrant...WINNER!
(Chops M tried to say I had threatened him verbally mid flight - long running feud. he came unstuck with explaining how he heard me wearing 2 sets of earduffs though. Got done for being navigationally unaware while transiting aft for a pi$$ though).