Hi Lorena, welcome to the PPRuNe 'cabin'. We are a fair old mix in here and certainly a number of flight and cabin crew will be along to help, as well as regular passengers such as myself.
You have been brave in admitting your fears and other folks have also posted in this forum. You may find some points to read in the FAQ, which is at the top of the forum page, organised by our Moderator who is Cabin Crew [doffs cap]. Also, the Search function may help you to find other discussion threads from previous months.
I do sympathise about having a phobia. I have one in an (almost) unrelated area and, when it 'appears' in my mind - the fact that I know it to be irrational - is irrelevant, because the fear is still the same. Also, if anyone tells you that you have nothing to fear and that everything will be all right - try not to hit them! It can be very frustrating when people mean well, but just do not understand how powerful these fears can be and that they are very real.
Safe Journey.